Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Not Surprised

Like a lot of married people, one of the things in which I take a deep satisfaction is seeing ads for various dating sites and knowing that I am permanently off the market. I know it’s an inappropriate thought, and if I’m honest I should admit that I’ve never used a dating site or any dating service; partly because I’d rather be dissected by aliens and pickled alive than attend a speed dating event (or any other sort of activity put on by one of these services) and partly because I’d be too worried about announcing to the whole world (or whatever part of it happens to be drifting through the Internet at that moment) that I am alone and vulnerable enough to be looking for companionship online. But apparently this hasn’t occurred to some of the people using the Christian Mingle online site…

I’ve written in this space before about some of the issues with online dating sites – fake profiles, site employees flirting with prospective members to make the site look more useful than it is, hordes of long-since-abandoned profiles being left up to inflate the number of “members” using the site, and so on. A number of site operators have attempted to deal with these perceptions by specializing in one particular demographic of date-seekers, notably including people over the age of 50, fans of various pop culture communities, people from specific professions or educational backgrounds, or even (amazingly enough) farmers and ranch hands. Almost inevitably, some of these specialized sites have focused on members of a specific religious group, on the principle that people consider membership in the same faith to be a requirement for a serious relationship, and are more likely to be trustworthy than godless heathen…

Given the nature of cybercrime (and the general nature of human beings) I wasn’t really all that surprised to read this story from ABCNews (by way of the Yahoo News page) about a serial rapist who appears to have found and selected his victims entirely through the creation of multiple fake profiles on the Christian dating site Christian Mingle. It isn’t clear from the news story if any of the victims let their guard down because of the nature of the site they met the guy on, or if this is just more sensationalist news reporting. On reflection, however, I’m not sure it matters in the larger context of new online risk…

Now, I don’t mean to suggest that any significant number of the people on any particular Internet site are rapists (or other types of criminal); nor do I oppose the creation and use of these services. The truth is, businesses that help single people in doing something about their condition existed for decades before the appearance of the Internet, and all of the dangers currently associated with online dating services were present in all of those channels as well – not to mention the risks inherent in meeting people in singles bars, coffee houses, community college classes, or any of the other venues people have used to meet other people over the years. It’s only in the implication that a given service is better because of its religious affiliation that things start to get murky…

In its incessant online advertising, Christian Mingle actually uses the tag-line “Discover God’s plan for you” – clearing implying that using their service will get you a date specifically chosen for you by the Almighty. While this is clearly fanciful (how exactly would a private company employ God as a matchmaker? What could they possibly offer as a salary?), the company is trying to differentiate its service from dozens of others by claiming an affiliation with the Christian religion, and implying that matches obtained through their service are somehow superior to those obtained using any other service. All of which might seem innocent enough – until someone starts using that veneer of religious approval to commit horrific crimes…

I’m not sure if the moral of this story is the oft-repeated “Don’t believe everything you see on the Internet” or if “Anything that looks too good to be true probably isn’t true” conveys the message better. But I’m reminded of another truism: “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than going to a garage makes you a car.” Apparently, the same can be said about people who go to Christian websites…

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