For the most part, men in this culture haven’t been
socialized into expecting anything in particular for this occasion – many of
them believe that V-Day is nothing more than an occasion on which the right
combination of gestures, words and expenditures may result in a form of reward
that they will enjoy. Thus, they may not be expecting anything from you, and
almost any form of gift will suffice – although, as noted in previous years,
presents that represent alterations in their lifestyle or behavior that you
would like to see are likely to be unsuccessful. With that proviso, the average
man will be quite happy to receive the same type of gift you would give him on
any other occasion…
By contrast, women in most Western cultures have been
socialized into placing importance on V-Day, and specifically on tokens given
to them as an expression of love by their significant other. This often becomes
problematic in the case where one partner is committed to celebrating the
holiday and the other is not. Fortunately, this means that a man attempting to
purchase a present for a woman on this occasion has a great deal of leeway; the
only really fatal errors would be those cases in which his significant other
finds his choice to be inappropriate. And while no hard-and-fast rules exist,
it’s probably fair to say that anything you wouldn’t purchase for any other
occasion will also not suffice for this one, meaning that anything too cheap,
too expensive, too cutesy or not cute enough, too personal or too impersonal,
too elaborate or too casual, etc., will still not suffice…
The point which in my estimation gets overlooked much too
often is that this occasion does not, or should not at least, occur in
isolation from the rest of your interactions with your significant other.
Months or years of previous experience should give you some idea of whether a
pink stuffed animal holding a heart-shaped object with a holiday-appropriate
slogan on it is a suitable gift, or if a package of personal lubricants isn’t.
If you seize on this occasion to make a grand, romantic gesture that is
perfectly reasonable – but you should probably be prepared for the possibility
that you may be wrong, or that you may have chosen the wrong gift, the wrong
price level, or just the wrong person to give it to…
But that’s a story for another day…
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