You’re Mocking Me, Aren’t You?

There are times when you encounter a news story where someone clearly is mocking somebody else, but it’s unusual to find those cases on the Business Page. It’s especially unusual to find cases of someone who is opening making fun of the people who are, at least ostensibly, his or her clients; most people do not take well to being mocked, let alone having to pay for the privilege. Although, in this case, it could be difficult to say exactly whom the joke is on…

A story being reported in the Orlando Sentinel web site tells the unlikely story of a man who is offering to carry cards and letters to those “left behind” after the Rapture for those pious soul who clearly will not be in any position to extend their own greetings (and best wishes?) following the event. His rates are apparently quite reasonable (about $5 per item), and he assures his customers that all of the funds received will be spent to support his “debauched” lifestyle and ensure that he will be “left behind” to carry out his duties…

Regular readers of this space (if there are any) will recall that last year I did a post on a service called You’ve Been Left Behind.com , which was also offering to deliver messages (and financial information, if you like) to those you care about but don’t believe are quite pious enough to be taken when the Rapture arrives. What sets the fellow in our story apart is that he is offering to carry hard-copy messages across the post-apocalyptic landscape to whomever you have designated, which frankly seems like a tall order, given the plagues of insects, frogs, cattle disease, rivers of blood, boils, telemarketers and other post-apocalyptic horrors will be attempting to destroy him during the few days left before the end of the Universe…

And, of course, the fact that he is openly mocking his clients. A self-described atheist, Mr. Witter not only believes that there will never be any such thing as the Rapture, but he is also more than willing to say so publically. Nor is he making any offers to refund your money if he dies before the Rapture arrives, or if it turns out that you are mistaken about being saved in the first place, although in the latter case it must be conceded that you will probably have more immediate problems than getting your $5 back from the messenger service…

It’s the only case I can ever remember in which a business is both accepting people’s money and mocking them for it at the same time. Even in the case of the web service mentioned above, one could never be sure if they were serious or not; and in either case, they were clearly not mocking your belief in the Rapture, assuming you had one. At least, not as long as you were willing to pay for their services. All things considered, I doubt it’s a business model that could be adapted to any other service, or duplicated in any quantity, but if Mr. Witter is successful in his enterprise, then perhaps we must re-evaluate our ideas about customer service…