It's Too Easy

You may remember a few posts back when I mentioned that some days it's just too easy to write this blog. I suppose if I were trying to write some fluffy, upbeat web log about good business decisions, strategies that work, and people who appear to be doing things the right way, I’d have fewer days like these. And in fairness, I do to try to bring you the occasional example of someone who’s doing it right, at least when I find someone I think we can all learn from. But for the most part, a business blog that attempts to be both entertaining and educational is going to be something of a Gong Show Gambit in itself, since there is next to no chance of my ever running out of weird, strange, ill-advised, crooked, or just plain stupid business concepts. Even by those standards, however, today’s story stands out…

Tuesday’s “Threat Level” column on the Wired website brings us the story of a website called “YouveBeenLeftBehind.com”. I don’t have much to add to Kevin Poulsen’s excellent reporting on the subject, but for those of you who don’t want to follow the link, the web site he’s talking about is a literal Doomsday service that will store a message for you which will automatically be sent to up to 62 heathens of your choice after the Rapture happens and you are taken bodily into Heaven. They will also “encrypt” and store all of your financial information (to be sent to the heathen of your choice the day after the Rapture) since with no body available, a probate court will take 7 years to rule you legally dead, and there will only be 7 more years left in the Universe between the Rapture and the End. And all of this for a nominal service change of only $40 per month…

It’s hard to say what would be more fantastical: if the people behind this venture are joking, or if they aren’t. If they’re having one on us (or more correctly on all of the religious types who believe the Rapture is coming in their lifetime and also believe that they will be taken during it), then this is quite literally the most brazenly cynical activity I have ever seen or heard of. Even a few thousand customers will give the company millions of dollars in revenue each year for a service that literally costs nothing to provide (even if there IS a Rapture during the life of the company), all because they are willing to exploit some people’s religious convictions (or superstitions, depending on your point of view) for money. Even more amazing, however, would be if these folks are serious…

It’s hard to imagine what purpose, exactly, a message sent to one of those unfortunates “left behind” during the Rapture is supposed to have. If you believe that it is possible for those left behind to repent and be saved before the End of the World, then it’s difficult to imagine what a message from someone who has already left would add to having the Messiah arrive (or return, depending on your point of view), the Rapture occur, and the Government of the Beast take control of the Earth. Unless, of course, you believe that the people to whom you are sending these messages are too thick to realize that the End of Days are occurring and Armageddon is imminent…

If you don’t believe in this sort of 11th-hours redemption, then the only possible use of such a message is to say goodbye to all of the people whom you like enough to spend money on but don’t expect to be seeing again in the Afterlife. I can’t help thinking that this sounds like gloating, which in turn does not sound like something you want to be doing if you want to be picked up during the Rapture…

From a business standpoint, it must be conceded that if anyone actually signs up for this service (and there is some indication that people are doing so) then the company is offering its customers a service they could not easily arrange for themselves for a relatively affordable price, and that if this service actually benefits someone (e.g. provides some peace of mind, the opportunity to gloat, or the chance to make sure that your heirs know where you left all of your financial resources) then they are in fact providing value in return for the money.

I still hope they’re kidding, however…