The Ethics of Mother’s Day

Every year around this time you will hear people complain about the so-called “Hallmark Holidays” – events created (so the complainers would have you believe) entirely for the purpose of requiring people to expend money and time on them. One could easily take issue with this position, pointing out that there are traditional celebrations of motherhood dating back for at least 500 years in Western tradition, and even longer in certain parts of the world, or that when the modern holiday was established in the U.S. the Hallmark company had only been in operation for a couple of years, and certainly wasn’t selling cards (or anything else) specifically for this occasion. But leaving the origins of the holiday aside for the moment, let’s consider the ethics of the modern holiday itself…

First, we have the charge that Mother’s Day is held primarily for the benefit of greeting card manufacturers and florists. It must be conceded that these businesses do profit from the existence of the holiday, and will continue to do so for as long as there are people who lack the artistic ability to make their own cards or access to areas rural enough to produce wildflowers. But given that these businesses provide employment for a large number of people, purchase raw material from a wide range of vendors, and make use of transportation, retail, and even advertising services, it is difficult to explain why this is inherently bad for our civilization, let alone unethical…

Second, we have the complaint that people should do nice things for their mothers because they accept or even respect their filial duty, not because some external authority commands it of them. This might hold some weight if there were actual social consequences of failing to observe the day, or if all observances of the holiday were somehow mandated by culture or law. But in reality there is no such compulsion, and even the most libertarian observer must concede that there is nothing wrong with doing something nice for your mother on a specific day. Although it should be noted that if this is the only day on the calendar in which you do anything for your mother, you probably have relationship issues (or other problems) that should not be blamed on Hallmark…

Then we have the issue that the event is unfair to those with low budgets, poor memory skills, or large separations from their mother. I tend to dismiss these because of the very technological marvel on which you are currently reading this rant. If you can operate a computer at all, you can at least send your mother an e-mail greeting, possibly with pictures obtained legally from a free-use source and/or a few lines of poetry from something in the public domain, all without spending a dime. You should also be able to set a recurring reminder in Outlook (or the equivalent) that will remind you that the second Sunday in May is coming well in advance…

Finally, we have the complaint that the holiday is unfair to those who were abused in childhood, those whose relationships with their mothers are so toxic as to be unbearable, those who have been disowned by their parents, and those whose mothers are currently dead. This objection is at least reasonable, but unfortunately, the underlying problem in all of these cases would exist regardless of the observance of a holiday honoring mothers. I can only recommend that these people spend the second Sunday in May being nice to someone else’s mother – or just sleep in that morning and ignore the whole thing…