Coffee to Go

Have you ever been driving along and almost had an accident because the driver in front of you managed to spill their coffee – either during a cellular phone call or just because they couldn’t manage to drink and drive at the same time? Did you consider writing to your Congressperson to request stronger distracted driving laws? Or just to your local government to demand an ordinance that would require the police to pour hot coffee down the pants of anyone who causes an automobile accident in this fashion? Well, if this is one of your personal pet peeves, you may want to consider moving someplace where they have reliable public transportation, because in the 2013 model year Fiat is releasing cars that offer the world’s first onboard espresso machine…

You can pick up the original story from the “Drive On” column on USA Today online if you want to, but the basic story is fairly straightforward. Fiat is coming out with a larger, four-door version of the infamous 500 model that will feature a built-in espresso maker (Lavazza is the prime contractor for the machine, if it matters) in an installation designed by Fiat exclusively for this purpose. Why, exactly, you would want the option of making any kind of coffee in a conventional passenger car (especially a small one) while driving is not clear from the article; nor is the issue of how the driver is expected to operate an espresso machine while driving without having some form of accident. But it must be acknowledged that this is the first (and so far only) production car that you can use to make coffee as well as just going to get some…

Now, if you’ve been with us for any of my ranting about differentiation strategy and cutting through the clutter in the marketplace, you’ve probably already figured out why Fiat is bothering with a stunt like this. I don’t know if espresso makers in cars will be a big hit in Italy – I don’t actually know how European drivers feel about making drinks while driving – but most places in the world having a feature that none of your competitors has even considered is an excellent way of demonstrating how different your product is. “If the engineers at Fiat were able to put a functional espresso maker into a car,” the line of thought goes, “Then the rest of the vehicle must be amazing!” One could imagine Toyota engineering a soft-serve ice cream machine into its minivans, or Mercedes-Benz putting a microwave in a touring car, or Ford putting some unholy monstrosity that makes hamburgers, fries and milkshakes in an SUV…

I kid, of course, but it’s still a serious point. All of the other companies that make cars are going to have to come up with something wilder and more innovative than an onboard espresso maker or fall behind Fiat in different, unique, or bughouse crazy designs – just as you would have to reply to anything completely new and different your competitors came up with…

Assuming the new feature works as advertised, of course. And also assuming that all of the people who buy it don’t end up creating traffic accidents – or being arrested for distracted driving…