The Rules, Part Two

As noted in my last post, the requirements of Valentine’s Day shopping take most men completely outside of their comfort zone – and this, in fact, is one of the primary reasons cited for failure to get an acceptable gift for this event. However, this excuse has lost most of its relevance in recent years because of the very invention that is enabling you to read the maunderings of this writer: the Internet itself. Consider that a quick visit to FTD.com will enable you to obtain almost any imaginable type of flowers or plants, in almost any price range, and have them sent to any address in North America. If your significant other doesn’t like flowers they have food items, gift baskets and other choices, and if she’s allergic to flowers, they also sell silk ones. With this service available, comfort level and convenience level (e.g. “I didn’t have time to shop”) are unworkable unless you are flat broke and/or don’t have Internet access.

Even worse, there are a literally unimaginable number of other web sites with suitable gifts, all of which ship and most of which will accept any reasonable form of payment. The FTD site is just a good example because of the huge array of gift items, food items, collectables, home and garden items, and even pet and child-appropriate gifts available. Well, that and the fact that they offer same-day delivery and International delivery. But with the exception of unique art/craft items, e-commerce has completely changed the way we do business – and it has had the unintended consequence of making Valentine’s presents just as easy to obtain as “adult” movies.

Of course, some people (primary males, but some women as well) will attempt to dismiss the holiday altogether, reasoning that with no “real” religious, historical or cultural basis, V-Day is simply a “Hallmark Holiday” created for the sole purpose of moving product. I could refute this by pointing out that St. Valentine was a 3rd Century Christian martyr (died in 269 AD), or that the tradition of associating the Feast Day of Saint Valentine with romantic love goes back to the 14th Century in Europe, and is also associated with Geoffrey Chaucer, who is widely credited for creating much of the mythology associated with the holiday. However, these points are not actually relevant to the discussion.

Some people, particularly males, will argue that they were not socialized to think of the holiday in a positive light; that being required to bring Valentines for every member of their primary school class (even those classmates they detested) and the crushing pressure of trying to go through with giving the object of their affections a Valentine in high school have led to their disliking the holiday and blocking it out of their memory. This argument is also ill-founded, given that the demands of business require most of us to take part in social events that we may not care for, and to remember dates far more random and arbitrary than 14 February of each year. With the introduction of Microsoft Outlook, even attempting to use this excuse has become dangerous folly.

The simple truth is, anyone with the slightest familiarity with the profession and practice of management (even the simple hints you can get from reading blogs about the topic) should be able to cope with the practical aspects of Valentine’s Day if their significant other finds importance in the event, especially in this 21st Century. That many people, and many men in particular, fail to do so can not reasonably be taken as an indication of incompetence, and it should not (despite frequent accusations of such conduct) be taken to mean that the offenders do not value or have emotional attachments for the significant others they are disappointing, however. The most probable explanation is, in fact, found in a less common but far more cutting female complaint: the event is simply not important enough to these people…