The Latest Thing

There are times when I find myself reading an online story and reflecting that the goods or services being profiled are definitely not for me. Sometimes – as in the case of the $40 per bottle spring water or mattress sets that cost more than my car (actually, more than all of the cars I have ever owned put together) – it’s because I don’t have millions of dollars in disposable income, and sometimes – as in the case of underwater hotel rooms or body piercings – it’s because I can’t imagine enjoying the experience. However, there was a story on Bloomberg.com last week about a Russian company building private “survival bunkers” that I really think falls into both categories…

If you don’t feel like hitting the link, the company started building panic room installations for wealthy Russians who were afraid of terror attacks or home-invasion robberies (or occasionally both) and graduated to full-scale underground shelters which are described as being able to withstand a variety of natural and man-made disasters. They’ve been particularly busy lately, it seems, because of anxiety regarding the possible end of the world in 2012, although in fairness we should also acknowledge that the dramatic increase in terror attacks in Russia over the past ten years is probably also a factor. The article also profiles two American companies, who say they have been receiving a dramatic uptick in business since the tsunami and earthquake in Japan this spring, and are still receiving more inquiries that usual during the resulting nuclear meltdown crisis…

Now, I don’t mean to criticize the people who are buying these shelters for protection against floods, volcanoes, riots, civil wars, or acts of God. I wouldn’t want one myself, due mostly to a moderate case of claustrophobia, but I can certainly understand the appeal of having an armored fortress from which you could see off hoards of idiots with weapons or waves of floodwater in perfect safety. The people who are afraid of terrorists and thieves are missing the point, I think, which is that unless you plan to somehow fabricate everything you will ever need in your bunker, you’re going to have to open your door (either to accept deliveries or else to go shopping) – and when you do, you will be as vulnerable as any other citizen. If anything, you’re drawing more attention yourself by shelling out $400,000 for a private security bunker than you would by hiding in plain sight…

The people I find absurd are the ones who believe that the Mayan calendar predicts the end of the world next year, or that obscure Christian fundamentalist preachers have predicted the end of the world this Saturday, or that the ghost of their Aunt Sadie has told them that the world will end on May 1, 2066, and get a private bunker fitted out to prepare for the cataclysm. Even if we are willing to accept that the world will end in our lifetimes, I still fail to see what the point of having a private security bunker would be if the planet is crumbling into Rice Krispies around us. I also worry about anyone, regardless of race, creed, religion or gender, who starts telling me that he or she has a line directly to the deity or deities who rule this place, and that Something Bad is going to happen in a week or so. But by the same token, I have only admiration for the businesspeople who have realized that increasing popular belief about an approaching apocalypse is good for business, and have organized their firms to meet these basic needs…

Could your company help to fill some unmet need that people who believe the world is going to end in less than 100 hours could use? What about people who have some less spectacular security requirements that are not currently being met? Or just ordinary folks who need something that isn’t currently available in their market? Maybe you should think about this one…