Vote Early, Vote Often

Every year around this time, The Consumerist website holds a mock competition, based on the college basketball tournaments, which are allegedly to determine the identity of the “Worst Company in America.” I’m not sure how they came up with the idea, although I suspect that since what they deal with is consumer complaints they probably just got to thinking about which company was the absolute worst one day and one thing led to another. But regardless of its origin, the contest is a series of pairings where anyone who wants to can vote for one company over another; the one getting the most votes advances (or should that be “descends”?) to the next level, until only the worst contender remains. You could see it as sort of a grass-roots opposite of the real consumers’ choice awards that come out every year, except that most companies do not take it all that seriously. After all, it’s an Internet slam-fest, intended to draw exaggeration for humorous effect, not a scientific study. It appears, however, that the contest’s defending champion doesn’t see it that way…

According to a note that popped up on the site this evening, Comcast has been urging all of its personnel to go onto the Consumerist site and vote for the other company in their bracket - that is, to make sure that the other firm gets the honors for worst company instead of Comcast. Needless to say, perhaps, this initiative was leaked to the Consumerist people within hours (possibly within minutes) of being sent out, and the website is now gleefully displaying communication, complete with authentic Comcast logos and graphics. Consequently, Comcast is now leading the voting by somewhere over four to one, and appears to be a shoe-in to take the title again this year. What, exactly, the company expected to gain through these actions remains a mystery, to me as well as to the people at The Consumerist…

Now, whether Comcast is actually the worst company in their industry, let alone all of the sectors of American commerce, remains open for debate. I’ve spent some time in that industry, and unless things have changed dramatically there are other companies just as widely reviled as Comcast, some of which actually deserve it. The thing is, every company in the cable business has legions of disgruntled fans, any of whom would probably swear under oath that their particular cable provider is the worst of its kind. What makes the company’s appearance in this year’s contest truly spectacular is that they’ve addressed the situation, not by apologizing to their legions of detractors or by reaching out to The Consumerist people and pledging to do better in the next year, but by rallying their personnel in an effort to smear the “competition” and make themselves look better. Well, that and the fact that they did so using media platforms that even a small child could have told them would be intercepted by the people at The Consumerist and held up to mockery and ridicule by millions of scruffy bloggers just like me…

I suppose it’s possible that the whole thing is a self-referential joke by Comcast at their own expense that I’m just too stodgy to appreciate; it’s probably also possible that this get-out-the-vote effort is a hoax, put onto the Internet specifically for the purpose of making Comcast look like idiots. But I’ve seen enough ill-considered management maneuvers over the years that I can easily believe that this one is real, and that all that is happening is that someone at Comcast doesn’t quite grasp the whole “Internet community” concept yet. Whereas even a few years ago no one would have noticed these sorts of shenanigans, today an attempt to influence an Internet fan vote will be interpreted as cheating (and as an insult to their intelligence) by most of the denizens of the Web, all of whom will cheerfully join in on the Comcast-bashing and try to make the company look even worse…

I’m not sure if Comcast can improve their service enough to be excluded from next year’s list, or if they’re doomed to be “honored” as the Worst Company in America for years to come. But I do know that if they really want off of that list, they’re going to have to try harder than this…