Beware the Crystal Skull

Anyone who saw the last “Indiana Jones” movie already has reasons to be wary of anything called a crystal skull, of course, but the item mentioned in the title of this post does not have anything to do with space aliens, evil Soviet scientists, or the ability of a college professor to survive an atomic explosion at ground zero by hiding inside a lead-lined refrigerator. No, this crystal skull is actually a bottle, which contains the beverage known as Crystal Head vodka. It’s remarkable for at least three reasons: One, the company is owned by actor Dan Aykroyd; Two, it’s an unusually clear and unadulterated version of this spirit, without any of the oils or sugars normally used to flavor vodka; and Three, it began as a lark, a product the actor expected to sell at most 5,000 bottle of as a novelty, and is now expected to gross between $40 million and $50 million in retail sales this year alone. It’s also remarkable because the bottle has been banned in Mr. Aykroyd’s home province of Ontario…

Since the whole thing is being treated as a humorous (or human interest) story and not a business piece, it’s currently on the Food and Wine page of the Globe and Mail website, but I was immediately struck by the several business lessons contained in this text. First, of course, there’s the issue of banning a product because its packaging has a dark or negative connotation. This is the sort of publicity you can’t possibly buy; the one thing that will turn almost any blandly corporate product into something “edgy” and “dangerous” overnight, and you really can’t beat gothic- or death-imagery for this purpose. Almost as important, however, is the fact that the company is offering a superior product in a package that would be instantly recognizable even if it wasn’t contraband. But I think what strikes me as the most amazing is that the product was already flying off the shelves BEFORE the Ontario Provincial government decided to ban it…

Now, in fairness, some people do find the depiction of the human skull, and its association with both death and the occult, to be somewhat disturbing. If you’re not from the American Southwest, where such things are common every November, it could be a bit off-putting. But the story goes on to note that in the 14 months the product and its distinctive bottles have been selling in British Columbia, there have be no public complaints whatsoever, and thus far there haven’t been any from south of the border, either. More to the point, perhaps, there’s no explanation of why that would be against Canadian law in the first place. Certainly, in the U.S., companies that have selected advertising or packaging graphics that disturb people and potentially interfere with sales have been allowed to plummet into obscurity and bankruptcy unassisted…

As a side note, one of the comments to the original story noted the existence of a microbrewery in Utah that produces a product called the Polygamy Porter and features the sales slogan “Why have just one?” I don’t know much about liquor regulation and similar product control laws myself, but it strikes me that if Utah can survive the production and distribution of such a brew, it’s hard to imagine what harm a skull-shaped bottle is going to do to a Canadian province. Personally, I hope Mr. Aykroyd goes on to make a huge fortune on his Clear Head products, and I commend the company to your attention…

Because anybody this good at marketing products and gaining free publicity will probably be back…