Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a guy pulls into a gas station in a small town in his brand new Cadillac, and when he gets out he accidentally spills several extra golf tees he had in his pocket.
“What are those?” the attendant asks him.
The man can’t believe that the attendant has never seen a golf tee. “Those are what I put my balls on when I drive,” he replies.
“Wow!” the attendant exclaims. “Those Cadillac engineers think of everything, don’t they?”
[RIMSHOT]
Okay, it’s a sophomoric joke, and you’ve probably heard it before. But if you think that’s dumb, wait until you hear about the latest thing in automotive design, which is now available on certain Porsche models…
A story being reported online this week tells about a new exclusive Porsche feature that allows the drive to increase the volume and pitch of their engine’s sound by means of a special exhaust flap built into the muffler system and activated by a button on the dashboard. That’s right, folks; at the push of a button you can make your car even louder and harder to ignore than it already is, just to make sure that EVERYONE notices you…
I’ll leave out the comments made by some of the other people reading this story (that you can get the same effect with a gadget you can make at home for free and save the $2,500 Porsche will charge you for this extra) and just point out that if your personal feelings of inadequacy and need for undeserved attention are so acute that you don’t feel paying a minimum of $75,000 (up to $140,000 for the convertible Turbo model) for a car is enough, I really doubt that the tricked-out exhaust system that makes your ride even louder is going to help…
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