It's snowing today in Central Michigan, and if the weather idiots are correct, it should continue to snow until dinnertime tomorrow, with up to 8 inches accumulating on the ground. On the television news they're calling it our first "big" storm of the season, and I suppose they're right. We've only had about 4 inches in the past three weeks -- we could get double that in the next 24 hours. It's a good thing we put out the ice and snow melter crystals this morning before the snow started...
If you're not familiar with this product (and up until now I'd only lived in warm-weather cities; I wasn't myself), the ice and snow melter we're using is a granular agent that keeps the ice and/or snow from sticking to sidewalks, driveways, and other concrete surfaces. It's touted as being more environmentally friendly than the rock salt traditionally used for this purpose, and a small bag of it is enough to cover our sidewalk and front walkway, usually with enough left over to touch up any spots we missed on the first pass. It's easy to use and not too expensive (about $4 a bag, which lasts for about a week so far) -- which is important, since keeping your sidewalk clear is required by a city ordinance...
Clearing the snow is one thing; keeping it clear is quite another. The traditional snow removal tools is a shovel, but shovelling snow is a bad idea if you're a middle-aged man with hypertension; a lot of heart attacks happen each year because men my age and general condition decide that they can still clear the driveway the way they did when they were teenagers. When we decided we were going to move to East Lansing the first thing I put on my shopping list was a snow blower. Little did I know that I'd have to wait almost three months before anyone here started selling them, and another two months before I'd get to use mine...
Assuming that I do, of course. This storm is still just warming up, and there's never any way to tell how much of it will stick and how much will just melt on contact. But the reason I'm blathering on about all of this is simple: snow melter, snow shovels and a snow blower are all things I went 44 years without ever having to purchase, and now I've bought all of them in just a few weeks. Moving to a cold-weather city, most people consider higher heating costs and more warm clothing, but fail to take into account costs like snow melter and gasoline for the snow blower. And I'm not even sure what other costs may present themselves before spring...
Now multiply that by every one of your employees and throw in the costs of winterizing your place of business, whatever it is, and you're starting to get an idea of what it might take to move your business into such a climate. Forget all of the wailing and gnashing you see about "hidden costs" in television commercials and business journals; in business their are ALWAYS going to be hidden costs. Sometimes you find them on your heating bill or the budget for an indoor break area, and sometimes they hit on your liability insurance bill (increased slip-and-fall premium), but they're always going to be there, swirling around outside your window like a fall of snow...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
AIG Update
I suppose I should stop picking on AIG; it's starting to get old. You know, like making "Ike" jokes in a time when no one really remembers anything about the Eisenhower Administration except the Korean War ended and the Vietnam War began, and the Cold War really started to hit the big time. Or making "Tricky Dick" jokes in a time when Nixon has been fully rehabilitated and is being fondly remembered for going to China, putting the Watergate complex on the map, and leaving BEFORE Congress could drag him through the mud. Still, there is something inherently offensive about a company whose primary function is managing other people's money screwing up so badly that they have to request that the government give them $150 billion of OUR money -- and then blowing large chunks of it on resort hotels and spa treatments for their idiot management team. Or, for that matter, hiring more PR people so that they can appeal to humor websites for better spin...
The political satire/comedy site known as Wonkette is reporting that they've been getting emails from AIG's Public Relations department, reacting to the site's mocking AIG for the aforementioned squandering of public bailout money for the enrichment of their (already obscenely well compensated) senior management with requests for reporting that casts the company in a better light...
Now, it must be admitted that Wonkette is not exactly a top-tier news organization; it's a popular website that spends most of its bandwidth mocking the more absurd figures and actions of the day. But that's precisely the point: if AIG is suddenly employing enough PR personnel to scan for ANY negative mention of themselves and then write personalized messages begging for better treatment (in a vaguely threatening manner and tone) then clearly AIG is spending too much of its new-found government loot on spin, and not enough of it actually fixing the things they are supposed to be fixing...
Of course, I could also spend this post railing against banks who are hoarding all of their Federal TARP money so they can collect and retain the interest, legislators who will gleefully fling bales of cash at failed banks and insurance companies without a thought of oversight -- and then tell the American automobile industry that they "don't feel right about" giving money to companies with "failed management practices," or even about automakers who show up before Congress to plead for billions in bailout funds (each bigshot arriving on a separate corporate jet costing $12 million a year, naturally) without being able to produce a single page of written plan for how those funds would be used...
But I think I will save all of these topics for another day. For the moment, let's just say that all of those people who were saying last summer that they should have gone out and bought themselves an oil company were wrong. What you should have gone out and purchased was an insurance company -- or a bank...
The political satire/comedy site known as Wonkette is reporting that they've been getting emails from AIG's Public Relations department, reacting to the site's mocking AIG for the aforementioned squandering of public bailout money for the enrichment of their (already obscenely well compensated) senior management with requests for reporting that casts the company in a better light...
Now, it must be admitted that Wonkette is not exactly a top-tier news organization; it's a popular website that spends most of its bandwidth mocking the more absurd figures and actions of the day. But that's precisely the point: if AIG is suddenly employing enough PR personnel to scan for ANY negative mention of themselves and then write personalized messages begging for better treatment (in a vaguely threatening manner and tone) then clearly AIG is spending too much of its new-found government loot on spin, and not enough of it actually fixing the things they are supposed to be fixing...
Of course, I could also spend this post railing against banks who are hoarding all of their Federal TARP money so they can collect and retain the interest, legislators who will gleefully fling bales of cash at failed banks and insurance companies without a thought of oversight -- and then tell the American automobile industry that they "don't feel right about" giving money to companies with "failed management practices," or even about automakers who show up before Congress to plead for billions in bailout funds (each bigshot arriving on a separate corporate jet costing $12 million a year, naturally) without being able to produce a single page of written plan for how those funds would be used...
But I think I will save all of these topics for another day. For the moment, let's just say that all of those people who were saying last summer that they should have gone out and bought themselves an oil company were wrong. What you should have gone out and purchased was an insurance company -- or a bank...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Ethics of Litigation
Last week I ran across one of those news stories that makes you wonder if somebody out there is just making this stuff up: a guy left his cell phone in a McDonalds, and is now suing the employees of the restaurant, the franchise owner, and the parent corporation because the naked pictures of his wife that were stored on the phone’s internal memory have been stolen and posted on the Internet. You can read the story here on MSNBC if you want to verify that I am not, in fact, making any of this up…
The lawsuit alleges that the reason the guy should be able to recover damages from McDonalds is that the employees at the restaurant promised they would secure the phone until he could return and collect it, and therefore one of them must have stolen the files and posted them online. The company won’t comment on pending litigation (and the employees would be insane to open their mouths about this), so there is no confirmation of that; we’re not clear on how long the phone was sitting around the dining area before anyone found it, how many other people might have had access to it, or even if any employee ever made any such promise. For all we know, the owner uploaded those pictures himself as a prelude to a lucrative lawsuit against a huge deep-pockets corporation…
But let’s leave the legal insanity of the case out of it for a moment; let’s not even comment on the mind-numbing stupidity of not only carrying around picture files of your spouse naked but then also leaving the device containing those files unattended in a public place. The business-related question here is, if you were the franchise owner (or senior management for McDonalds) what would you do about this issue, and how would you try to keep it from happening again? Because if this case recovers even the price of a Big Mac, you can better your last dime that dozens (or thousands) of other scam artists will try the same trick…
Of course, this is why so many businesses have signs posted that say “We are not responsible for any articles lost, stolen, sold on eBay or posted onto the Internet because you’re too stupid to know better,” and we can safely assume that if those actually help, every McDonalds that doesn’t already have one will be sporting one very soon now. In theory, you could also use closed-circuit TV cameras to record what goes on in the store, and in fact a lot of retail and food service companies do, but this won’t tell you if somebody left their phone behind as a scam or just forgot about it. It won’t even tell you whether one of your employees copied, saved or emailed the pictures unless you monitor the cameras every moment of the day – which we’ve established you can’t if you want to also run a business…
From an ethics standpoint, the question is really this: Do you, as the owner of a business (franchise) have any responsibility to prevent your customers from being damaged, humiliated or otherwise injured as the result of their own carelessness and lack of common sense? And if you do, how much responsibility for your customers’ welfare can you reasonably be expected to take on when all you did for those customers was sell them a cheap food item? Are you also responsible for ill-advised business decisions, stupid career choices, disastrous marriage proposals, or other lapses in judgment (or sanity) made while on your premises? And by the same token, should every customer in every public place have to live as if everyone else in the room was waiting for the chance to do them harm the moment their back is turned? What expectation of safety in the event of unwise behavior does the public have, and who has to take that responsibility?
It’s worth thinking about…
The lawsuit alleges that the reason the guy should be able to recover damages from McDonalds is that the employees at the restaurant promised they would secure the phone until he could return and collect it, and therefore one of them must have stolen the files and posted them online. The company won’t comment on pending litigation (and the employees would be insane to open their mouths about this), so there is no confirmation of that; we’re not clear on how long the phone was sitting around the dining area before anyone found it, how many other people might have had access to it, or even if any employee ever made any such promise. For all we know, the owner uploaded those pictures himself as a prelude to a lucrative lawsuit against a huge deep-pockets corporation…
But let’s leave the legal insanity of the case out of it for a moment; let’s not even comment on the mind-numbing stupidity of not only carrying around picture files of your spouse naked but then also leaving the device containing those files unattended in a public place. The business-related question here is, if you were the franchise owner (or senior management for McDonalds) what would you do about this issue, and how would you try to keep it from happening again? Because if this case recovers even the price of a Big Mac, you can better your last dime that dozens (or thousands) of other scam artists will try the same trick…
Of course, this is why so many businesses have signs posted that say “We are not responsible for any articles lost, stolen, sold on eBay or posted onto the Internet because you’re too stupid to know better,” and we can safely assume that if those actually help, every McDonalds that doesn’t already have one will be sporting one very soon now. In theory, you could also use closed-circuit TV cameras to record what goes on in the store, and in fact a lot of retail and food service companies do, but this won’t tell you if somebody left their phone behind as a scam or just forgot about it. It won’t even tell you whether one of your employees copied, saved or emailed the pictures unless you monitor the cameras every moment of the day – which we’ve established you can’t if you want to also run a business…
From an ethics standpoint, the question is really this: Do you, as the owner of a business (franchise) have any responsibility to prevent your customers from being damaged, humiliated or otherwise injured as the result of their own carelessness and lack of common sense? And if you do, how much responsibility for your customers’ welfare can you reasonably be expected to take on when all you did for those customers was sell them a cheap food item? Are you also responsible for ill-advised business decisions, stupid career choices, disastrous marriage proposals, or other lapses in judgment (or sanity) made while on your premises? And by the same token, should every customer in every public place have to live as if everyone else in the room was waiting for the chance to do them harm the moment their back is turned? What expectation of safety in the event of unwise behavior does the public have, and who has to take that responsibility?
It’s worth thinking about…
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
It’s That Time Again…
Every year around this time somebody posts a blog or set of message board discussions about “What was the worst present you ever received?” Most of the time it’s a mixture of the crass, the tacky, the tightwads and a handful of trolls who are either attacking the rest of the posters for being too material or spouting a bunch of religious rubbish about how because they don’t personally agree with giving gifts on a holy day, everyone should spend the day in church, or eating cold gravel, or whatever trolls pretending to be holy rollers believe we should all be doing. Some of the posts are sad, some are touching, and some are either the most materialistic people on the planet or more trolls trying to get a rise out of people by pretending to be wretches who would actually complain because the new sports car their parents gave them was the wrong color…
Although, in fairness, it’s sometimes hard to tell who’s a troll and who’s just an appalling human being these days. In any case, you can catch this year’s version on MSN Money if you want to. Personally, I think the people who make the “groaning moose clock” referenced in the comments to this article are about to get a surprise at how much traffic on their website has picked up, but then I’d imagine it would take a lot to surprise people who manufacture and sell clocks that make a 60-second “moose mating call” ever hour…
I thought it might be worthwhile to review some of the comments made earlier about the rules for buying presents. If you’re not the type who thinks moose (or strange noises that sound like a moose made them) are funny enough to make the ideal gift, some of these might come in handy:
1. Never purchase anything that is actually for you. It’s rude. Especially if it’s something you know the recipient does not want, and will just give back to you.
2. Don’t assume that just because you want something, your significant other does too. This goes double for home entertainment equipment that you will also get to use.
3. Never purchase exercise equipment for any female recipient. Not even if she specifically asks for it. It sends the wrong message (e.g. “you need to work out more”).
4. When purchasing gifts for a female significant other, never purchase anything because your mother, your sister, your ex-girlfriend or some hot saleswoman at the store where you were shopping liked it. And if you’re dumb enough to violate this rule, for heaven’s sake don’t ADMIT that you did so!
5. When purchasing gifts for a male significant other, never purchase lifestyle or wardrobe accessories that conform to your ideal of him. For example, if he doesn’t already carry a “man-purse” you probably shouldn’t get him his first one. If he already does, there’s nothing wrong with getting him a new one, but otherwise…
6. Regardless of the recipient’s gender or your relationship with him or her, do not purchase things he or she doesn’t use but you think he/she ought to. This applies to styles he or she doesn’t wear, grooming items he or she doesn’t use, religious or self-help texts that will help to short up something YOU believe is a shortcoming, and so on.
7. Avoid gift cards. It’s not just that they’re impersonal, although they are, but in the current economic climate there’s a nonzero chance that the company will go under before the recipient can cash them in – and if that happens, the card won’t be worth the price of the plastic it’s made out of. Also, keep in mind that just because the store you’re buying the card from is convenient for you, that doesn’t mean there’s one in the recipient’s neighborhood. If someone gave me a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf gift card this year, for example, I’d be roughly 2300 miles from the nearest place I could use it…
8. Avoid novelty items that make loud, rude noises every hour on the hour. Unless, of course, you KNOW that the recipient really likes the sound of moose mating calls…
Although, in fairness, it’s sometimes hard to tell who’s a troll and who’s just an appalling human being these days. In any case, you can catch this year’s version on MSN Money if you want to. Personally, I think the people who make the “groaning moose clock” referenced in the comments to this article are about to get a surprise at how much traffic on their website has picked up, but then I’d imagine it would take a lot to surprise people who manufacture and sell clocks that make a 60-second “moose mating call” ever hour…
I thought it might be worthwhile to review some of the comments made earlier about the rules for buying presents. If you’re not the type who thinks moose (or strange noises that sound like a moose made them) are funny enough to make the ideal gift, some of these might come in handy:
1. Never purchase anything that is actually for you. It’s rude. Especially if it’s something you know the recipient does not want, and will just give back to you.
2. Don’t assume that just because you want something, your significant other does too. This goes double for home entertainment equipment that you will also get to use.
3. Never purchase exercise equipment for any female recipient. Not even if she specifically asks for it. It sends the wrong message (e.g. “you need to work out more”).
4. When purchasing gifts for a female significant other, never purchase anything because your mother, your sister, your ex-girlfriend or some hot saleswoman at the store where you were shopping liked it. And if you’re dumb enough to violate this rule, for heaven’s sake don’t ADMIT that you did so!
5. When purchasing gifts for a male significant other, never purchase lifestyle or wardrobe accessories that conform to your ideal of him. For example, if he doesn’t already carry a “man-purse” you probably shouldn’t get him his first one. If he already does, there’s nothing wrong with getting him a new one, but otherwise…
6. Regardless of the recipient’s gender or your relationship with him or her, do not purchase things he or she doesn’t use but you think he/she ought to. This applies to styles he or she doesn’t wear, grooming items he or she doesn’t use, religious or self-help texts that will help to short up something YOU believe is a shortcoming, and so on.
7. Avoid gift cards. It’s not just that they’re impersonal, although they are, but in the current economic climate there’s a nonzero chance that the company will go under before the recipient can cash them in – and if that happens, the card won’t be worth the price of the plastic it’s made out of. Also, keep in mind that just because the store you’re buying the card from is convenient for you, that doesn’t mean there’s one in the recipient’s neighborhood. If someone gave me a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf gift card this year, for example, I’d be roughly 2300 miles from the nearest place I could use it…
8. Avoid novelty items that make loud, rude noises every hour on the hour. Unless, of course, you KNOW that the recipient really likes the sound of moose mating calls…
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