When the Customer Isn’t Right

I know I often come across as the world’s leading advocate for better customer service and the importance of the public-contact personnel being properly trained, equipped, supported and compensated. Because, as we all know by now, the customer is the single most important part of any business that intends to make a profit (and most that do not). Without customers coming to us and giving us money to do what we do, most business units will not merely fail; they will have no purpose whatsoever. But what about those individuals who want our business to do something it can’t do, regardless of the cost or the other consequences to us? When that circumstance comes up, is the customer still always right?

In my last post, I mentioned the concept of someone who wants service that our company is not equipped to provide, as in the case of a customer who wants a relatively small restaurant to cater a relatively large event. It may be possible for the restaurant to work with an event planning company to put on such an event, or even create a new business unit (a catering business) to serve the customer’s needs – if the price of doing so is acceptable to the customer. But what this customer really wants is a caterer, not a small restaurant. Complaining because your favorite corner bistro can’t handle a party for 900 guests is like walking into the corner drug store and expecting to purchase enriched uranium, or complaining because your favorite supermarket does not sell tuxedoes.

Despite what both the customer and the owner of the restaurant think, this individual isn’t really a customer in this context, because the business he or she is attempting to engage is not the one he or she actually wants. In a very real sense, the customer is asking the owner to invest thousands or tens of thousands of dollars in equipment, transportation, personnel, and possibly seating and furnishings as well, all so that the customer can make use of this capability one time. If the customer is willing to pay all of that expense, preposterous as that would be, then they at least still attempting to do business with the restaurant; otherwise, they are simply asking the owner to immolate his or her company for their amusement/enjoyment/convenience.

In more extreme cases, we have individuals who may be attempting to get a refund for goods they never purchased (stolen goods, promotional giveaways, etc.) or even for goods they have already consumed (this happened to me repeatedly in my retail days). One case I remember fondly is the man who wanted a refund for a six-pack of beer that he had already drunk – on the grounds that it wasn’t very good beer. These individuals are not customers, they are thieves, plain and simple. Losing their business will not cost the company anything, because they are not bringing in any business in the first place.

One case that turned up on the Internet the other day was the story of a DJ who told about working a wedding back in the pre-CD days, and having one of his records skip briefly at the start of a song. The parents of the bride (who had hired him) descended upon the poor man, screaming that this half-second skip had “ruined” the entire wedding, and demanding that he pay for the entire cost; all $16,000 of it. They were not mollified by his offer to refund his own modest fee and work the event (about five hours work plus travel costs) for free; they wanted $16,000 cash RIGHT THAT SECOND! When asked if this was an isolated case, the DJ replied that scams like this one had happened to him with some frequency, and the resultant heartburn had helped to convince him to get into another line of work.

Unfortunately, there really isn’t anything we can do about such people. Business will always depend on providing the customer with products and/or services at the best available price. But the answer to our riddle is simple: When is the customer not always right? When they’re not really a customer…