The First Rule of Business

For many years, I have contended that the first rule of Business can be summed up in the humorous phrase, “When someone comes to you and says ‘Hello, I would like to give you a lot of money now,’ you say, YES!” Obvious, one might think. And yet, I find myself constantly confronted with cases of people who do not want me to give them my money; who tell me that I can’t give them any money unless I am willing to inconvenience myself for no apparent reason.

Case in point: a few years ago, I needed to make airline reservations for my wife and myself, because our travel plans had changed unexpectedly. I called a national airline (whose name I won’t specify, except that it’s also my national origin) that used the city we wanted to fly out of as their hub, and asked to book two tickets to Los Angeles for the day after next. The ticket agent told me I couldn’t. I asked why, and she told me that because it was less than 72 hours before departure time, each of us would have to make our own reservation, using our own credit card, with a different name on each card. Unless I wanted to drive to the airport in the departure city (about 800 miles way, at that moment) and purchase the tickets in person, at the counter.

When I asked “why?” the ticket agent told me “Oh, lots of reasons. Identity theft, security, yadda yadda yadda.” Note that I’m not making this up; she actually said “Yadda yadda yadda.” Wondering how I had wandered into a “Seinfeld” episode, I hung up and called Delta Airlines. The city we wanted to leave from wasn’t their hub, but they had three flights to Los Angeles that afternoon, and their agent booked two tickets for me in about three minutes, including the time it took to pitch me on their frequent flier program.

To this day, I still have no idea what that first airline was thinking. I only know that Delta got quite a lot of my money, and they didn’t…

Makes you wonder how they stay in business, doesn’t it? Whether it’s a failure of inventory and ordering (like the bookstore yesterday that didn’t have any of the books I wanted), unrealistic staffing and scheduling (like the restaurant full of empty tables that still couldn’t seat us because they didn’t have enough people on shift that day – we went elsewhere), or bloody-minded adherence to regulations that make no sense (like the airline example listed above), people are forever telling me that I can’t give them my money. And every time they do this, I know that their competition won’t mind taking my money, and I go away to find them…

Are you telling people they can’t give you any money? Maybe you should reconsider. Because I can tell you one thing for sure: whether you believe in the first rule of Business or not, the first rule of Business believes in you…